As a younger wife, early in our marriage, I had to learn that making sacrifices was going to be the pillars that would hold up our marriage. Prior to this, I focused mainly on what my goals and desires were and what made me happy.
To really love someone and making a sacrifice for them should be easy; however, when we are self-centered, self-seeking and selfish, as I was, we don’t see what true love is all about. Commissioned wrote a song “Love isn’t love till it’s given away.” This is true as it relates to marriage. Love is giving of yourself without any expectation of getting something back in return. When we love our spouses, our decisions should have their best interest at heart, not our own. When we do this, we are giving love away; thus, giving of ourselves and able to experience Gods agape (unconditional) love.
Being married to a music minister, who often travels and spends hours In the studio writing, producing and recording; I had to learn that God gifted him and the need to perfect that gift and operate in a spirit of excellence was also a reflection of me as a wife. At first, can I testify for a minute, I would complain and nag about time spent doing these things. Proverbs 14:1 (Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish one tears it down with her own hands.) Unfortunately, it took me several years and almost losing my marriage, for me to recognize how as a wife, I was tearing down my house instead of building it. I was a hindrance not only in our marriage but a road block to his ministry. I can remember him telling me he wanted to purchase a keyboard. At the time he was a bassist. I was so out of tune with him spiritually. All I wanted to know was how much was it, what we could purchase instead of the keyboard, what a waste of money it would be and how foolish of an idea it was because he couldn’t really play the piano well. Oh so negative!
I look back and say “But for the GRACE of God!” Because of God showing me how to sacrifice in my marriage for my husband’s vision; God has promoted my husband as minister of music at our church, Charity Christian Center, for over 18 years; has anointed him to record 4 CD’s and gifted him to produce songs for other artists as well as allowed to write hundreds of songs. In return, he has opened doors for me to flourish in my gifts, one of which is to encourage wives to not make the same mistakes I’ve made via platforms as this. How amazing is that!!!
God desires husbands and wives to love sacrificially, without conditions. This means I can’t have my way and my husband can’t have his way; however, when we support each other, there is no limit to where God will take our marriage. God has continued to blow our minds when we get on one accord and make sacrifices for each other.
I am so grateful to have a husband that loves me despite of my selfish desires and allowed me to mature into the virtuous woman of God that I continue to strive to be today; and for a God who loves me in spite of myself and continues to show me how He will open doors that no man can shut when you trust His way rather than your own. Because of their (God and my husband) love for me, I am a winner in my marriage.
Lora Yvette Thomas-Griffin